Thursday, October 9, 2008

Nullipara

Is it me or is this a really ugly sounding word? Do you know what it means? "A woman who has never given birth." Nice, huh?

It's not my fault that I don't want kids. I am not fighting an instinct or anything. I have never in my entire life felt the *pang* of motherhood or whatever it is that people describe. In fact, the older I get, the more motherhood scares me. I have tried to locate these pangy feelings. I have closed my eyes and concentrated reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally hard. Nothing. Am I defective? Maybe they can come up with some kind of medication that addresses this "problem" of mine.

The idea of adopting a child from an orphanage is a lot more appealing to me, truth be told. I'd like to pick up where the Republicans leave off and actually give a kid a fighting chance in this world. I guess if I did this, I'd still be a nullipara, though, huh?

I should say for the record that none of my friends have EVER made me feel lousy for not having reproduced. Very few of my friends actually have children, so I am not the odd person out, by any means. And I do like kids - I think they are cute and quirky and silly and funny. I just don't really have a desire to have them myself.

I just wish my parents would have had another child to take this pressure off of me. My mother obviously wants a grandchild and I oscillate between wanting to please her and getting really pissed that this burden of "only child responsibility" is seemingly never-ending. I think I've been a good kid to her, made her proud. I hope that just because I don't plan on checking this one little box, she isn't going to hold it against me. Besides, she can always adopt one if she misses children that much!

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6 Comments:

Blogger bless_cyborgs said...

I respect you for knowing yourself and following your gut regardless of anyone.

October 12, 2008 at 6:18 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

It took me a long time to come to this conclusion. I WANT to want to have kids, if that makes any sense at all. I am actually jealous of women who do. I think I really am missing something that is biologically inherent.

I have read that this is common amongst only children.

October 13, 2008 at 4:15 AM  
Blogger Kara said...

Imagine living in a time when the only options for women were getting married and having kids or, like, becoming a nun. I bet there were tons of women raising kids and not too happy about it. So, I say, rejoice for your freedoms and choices. But, what I really want to say is that I love your label for the post. Totally cracked me up!

October 13, 2008 at 6:38 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

It's so true that the world is a different place today and society isn't as hard on women who do not have children. I could not imagine a time when I wouldn't even be able to get an education.

You could be a spinster and work as a librarian, a school teacher or nurse. You would be doomed to a life picking up soccer balls from your front lawn and keeping them inside to teach the neighborhood kids a lesson. Spinsters were usually portrayed as bitter, unhappy women and very unattractive (otherwise, they wouldn't be spinsters, right?).

October 13, 2008 at 10:15 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

"It's mine now."

Seriously, I have sometimes been envious of couples without children. Imagine all the romantic weekends away? No worries about babysitting, etc.

And this game sucks.

October 13, 2008 at 5:09 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

The game was a major pooper! And it just kept getting worse and worse.

Jere (Jr.) and Mary-Ann are going to tonight's game. I hope they get a winner!

October 14, 2008 at 9:17 AM  

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