Oh, Happy Day!
Many women still complain about the unbalanced state of affairs in the United States. Myself included. But the stuff that really gets my goat cannot be solved through the legal process. Allow me to explain.
Yesterday, I threw a bridal shower for my mother. Several weeks in advance, I sent out the invitations. Last Sunday, I received a call from one of the attendees, informing me that her daughters had not received invitations. These are folks I hardly know, as they are the children OF the children of the groom. My mother's address book (the source of the invitation list) did not contain these names or associated addresses. Because of my gender, I have to (a) organize and execute this sort of occasion and (b) smooth things over after feelings are hurt. Only women are judged based on whether or not they leave someone off of an invitation list. Only women are expected to plan these social events. Only women are expected to read minds and predict the future. My status as a good and decent human being hangs in the balance until I have effectively thrown a shower and completed damage control for holes in my mother's address book. Do you think for a second that a man is made to feel inept if he forgets to call a buddy of his on his birthday or fails to send a thank you card to his mother? This is so unfair. I can accept that there has never been a female president. I can (almost) accept that there will never be a female player in major league baseball. But these social expectations are bullshit. And I seriously think we do it to ourselves. It's not like there is a man standing over us going, "You'd better get those holiday cards out!" If women lightened up on the whole thing, men would adjust. Trust me. There are few guys now who care whether or not their female counterparts even make dinner. So, why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we care what so-and-so's great aunt thinks about the appetizers? It's a game you can't win because it's impossible to please every single person. And yet, here I sit feeling bad because of the invitation snafu.