Thursday, April 24, 2008

Ladies, Please Take Note

Like so many women, I've got a shy bladder. I'm working on it. I hear that in Japan, background noise is piped into public restrooms to help people deal with this. There's nothing like a wasted trip to the ladies room. I've always admired people who can just open the flood gates the second they sit down. Some people have very forceful equipment. Sadly, I do not. When there are other women mucking around in there, I have this kind of pathetic stop-go trickle. I've tried to meditate and block out noises. I've tried to visualize large bodies of water. Not much works.

To add insult to injury, there is always some woman who, after exiting the stall, decides that she's going to futz with her appearance, indefinitely. You hear the sounds of someone smoothing out their clothes, heels clicking and shuffling, hair accessories snapping and unsnapping, zippers, etc. Sometimes, women are moved to brush their teeth after exiting the stall. Or give themselves a huge makeover, complete with vigorous hair brushing and foundation application. Or stare at a side view of themselves. Come on! What's more important? The way your ass looks in those pants or my poor bladder? If you didn't get it right before you left the house, chances are, fifteen minutes of ladies room futzing isn't going to help you.

I urge you to think about this the next time you decide to set up camp in there, people! The kidneys are very precious organs.

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Blogger Kara C. said...

Stage fright = no good!

Kim, I received my order of Stella Marie soap from Amy! I LOVE it!!! Big Poppy is my new favorite.

April 24, 2008 at 10:57 AM  
Blogger DJDiva said...

I know what you mean! It's the worst when people sit in there forever - and you're like hey I have to go... help me out here...

one place I worked there was the woman we ended up calling "the bathroom lady" - she would come in with a huge ziploc bag of cosmetics (why she carried them in a ziploc I have no idea) but she would screw around applying makeup forever. She also would bring magazines into the stall and loudly flip the pages - my co-workers ad I were convinced she hung out in there half the day. Every time any of us went into the bathroom she was in there! It was freaky.

A friend of mine who went to Japan said she loved that about the bathrooms. I don't know why we don't have something like that here?

April 24, 2008 at 5:35 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Kara - Hurray! So glad you are enjoying it :)

Djd - The bathroom lady sounds like my worst nightmare! There is a man on our floor (not with our company) who (whom?) the guys refer to as "the cell phone guy" because he always takes his cell phone into the bathroom. Why? Why?!

April 25, 2008 at 3:33 AM  
Blogger DJDiva said...

who talks on the phone in the bathroom - I've seen in before and I just don't understand! yuck!

May 6, 2008 at 7:41 PM  

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