Saturday, April 5, 2008

The Mystery Continues

Well, the cancer mystery continues. My mom went in for a colonoscopy yesterday and it is confirmed that there is no cancer there. Her doctor was very thorough. She had a precancerous tumor removed from her colon several years ago and he was worried that he missed some microscopic cells. I guess he didn't since she checks out fine.

This means that the primary cancer is either liver, pancreatic, gall bladder, or adrenal. The weird thing is, my mother has none of the symptoms consistent with any of these cancers. The first sign of them is weight loss and loss of appetite. My mother has gained several pounds since her surgery and eats very well. Jaundice is another big indicator of these types of cancer. She is not jaundiced. As the cancer has metastasized, I find it hard to believe that she wouldn't present any of these signs and symptoms during this advanced stage.

She and I talked for a long time last night. She said that the first thing she did when she got home was throw away all of the "get well" cards she received. She wants to try to have a normal life, despite what is going on. The cards, though well-intentioned, are depressing reminders of her illness. I don't blame her one bit. Speaking of well-intentioned sentiments, it really bothers me when people say, "Well, you'd better enjoy your time with your mother. Make every moment count." I don't think that people understand how that comes across. First of all, it's a lot of pressure. Hurry up and have those good times! The end is near! Secondly, it suggests that we've wasted lots of time in the past, but NOW it has to start counting. Get your watches ready! I know people mean well, and I know that words don't come easy in these situations, but this one doesn't help me.

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Blogger Z said...

Awww. I wanna say something positive and comforting but I fear I'll some across as the idiot. I can't imagine what you are going through. You're in my thoughts. (On another note: great news about your soap success.)

April 5, 2008 at 4:10 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

You are sweet and not remotely idiotic. Thank you, Z.

April 5, 2008 at 6:14 PM  

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