For 2011 and Beyond

Be kind.

Love Unconditionally.

Laugh more.

Breathe.

Let go of my fears.

Stand up for myself.

Be fierce.

Resist harm.

Be grateful.

Appreciate beauty.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

A List of Unapologetic Female Musicians Who Don't Need to Use Their T & A to Be Amazing

I was put this together while I was unloading the dishwasher today. I have always been so turned off by the women in the music world who sing all girly and lullaby-like, all while wearing next-to-nothing. It feels like their pockets were lined by executives who warned them: Go out there and degrade yourself or else! Dignity, anyone? Thank the universe that these women went out and did just the opposite.

Wendy O. Williams

Patti Smith

Kim Deal

Debbie Harry

Melissa Auf der Maur

D'arcy Elizabeth Wretzky

PLUS:

Joan Jett
Kathleen Hanna
Kristin Hersh
Aimee Mann
Erykah Badu
Donita Sparks
Bianca Holstead
Carrie Brownstein
Courtney Love
Sinead O'Conner
Tracy Bonham
Janis Joplin
Queen Latifah
Chrissie Hynde
Pat Benatar
Poison Ivy
Lydia Lunch
Marissa Paternoster

I could go on. Moms and Dads, please be sure that your little girls know about these women and understand that it's okay to be fierce.

* I should add that there is a difference between removing one's clothing as a means of exuding power and doing it to please men. Burlesque dancing, for example, is an expression of female sexuality in a way in which the female is in control. Wendy O. Williams and other women on this list did wear sexually provocative clothes, but in the end, it wasn't really about them acquiescing to some expected soft, feminine ideal. It was about their fearlessness of belting it out.

You ever notice

that ruby red grapefruits smell like pot? The next time you are perusing your local produce department, pick one up and give it a whiff.

Where have all the grasshoppers gone?

Can you remember the last time you saw a grasshopper? I can't. I used to catch them when I was a kid. They were all over the place. We lived in a quasi-urban setting, yet my neighbors had plenty of grasshoppers in their postage stamp-sized yard.

Are they facing extinction or something?

It's Coming, Folks!

"The weather out there today is hot and shitty with continued hot and shitty in the afternoon. Tomorrow a chance of continued crappy with a pissy weather front coming down from the north. Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut."

- Adrian Cronauer, Good Morning, Vietnam

True Quam

Ever notice that commercials involving high definition televisions or "sexy" electronics portray the male as this kid in a candy store with his female counterpart rolling her eyes in the background as if to say, "Oh, brother!" or "Honey, you know we can't afford that!"

I've never known a woman who was bored or annoyed with cool televisions. Am I missing something here?

God Help Me

I am addicted to the USA Today crossword.

Today is a holiday, so I have to wait 3 stinking days until a fresh one appears.

Average is Underrated. Fo' Shizzle.

Man, the celebrity life has to blow. Just like the next sucker, I get drawn into these outrageous tabloid stories. I love a good train-wreck. It makes me feel grateful for this thing we called anonymity. It's nice to have privacy. I take great comfort in the fact that I can schlep to the laundromat in my Target yoga pants and Bikini Kill t-shirt - unshowered - and no one gives a damn. Do you think any of these celebs wish, just for a day, that they could blend into the crowd? I'll bet some of them do.

You can argue that it's all worth it somehow because the money makes up for it. What if, though, you could attach a real price tag to anonymity? Say that a person's anonymity is worth $50 million, tax free. That's a lot of money. It could even be more. Imagine how much money a celebrity doles out for security, private rooms, special covert services, etc. It's an ongoing expense. The bigger the star, the more expensive it is. And the paparazzi still manage to squeeze into their private moments and snap pictures of their disgusting, flabby butts on the beach. If you miss a spot shaving, people all over the globe are going to know about it.

And what about trust? Most of us have a few shifty people in our lives. It's unavoidable. But, the majority of the people we know and interact with are pretty honest and relatively trust-worthy. Because you can't offer them much except for the same treatment in return, most people are, "real." On the other hand, if you were an A-lister, there's a lot that the average person might want from you. Money, opportunities, exploitation. They aren't interested in the person as much as what the person can do for them. Pretty soon, you don't know who you can trust. You don't know who is going to stab you in the back next. You don't know which writer is going to tear your album or movie to shreds. It's no wonder these people all turn to drugs!

If you are a woman of average height, you'd better not weigh more than 95 pounds. If you are a man, you'd better start making some lady friends - fast! You don't want the media to start wondering about you.

There are so many problems and stresses with this kind of life, I don't think I could ever live it. I like my $50 million tax-free anonymity. I keep it in a perfectly-lit display case, right next to my Charlie Card and pictures of my friends, family and pets. Ah, to be average.

Deep Thoughts

My lunch fall back is currently egg salad. And I'm not really the world's biggest egg salad fan. Why is that?