ASBCIH

I've decided that I'm going to use the term "a snow ball's chance in hell" as much as possible. It doesn't roll off the tongue as easily as you might think and it's got a ton of applications. I might even abbreviate it when using the phrase in writing.

Examples:
I think the Yankees have ASBCIH winning the division title this year.
I've got ASBCIH getting a parking spot on Newbury Street.
There's ASBCIH my cats will ever calm down and stoop breaking all the things I own.