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Painful game last night. 12 innings. Ugh.

Art Beat 2008

[I advertised this on my Stella Marie Soap Company blog, but I thought I'd post about it here, too, in case any of you locals are interested. I hope you can stop by and say hello - the weather is supposed to rock and the entertainment is always fun.]

I will be selling my soaps and other bath goodies at the Art Beat festival this year. The Somerville Arts Council has updated their website with the full festival details!

Saturday, 7/19: Noon - 5PM
Davis Square, Somerville, MA

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In unrelated news: Our softball team has advanced to the 2nd round of playoffs. I'm not sure what happened, but we were unstoppable. The other team lost due to the mercy rule, which is simply unheard of, given our not-so-impressive record. Perhaps it's because our coach gave us a pep talk before the game. Who knew that this is all we needed to excel? It was so freaking fun to (a) win and (b) pound another team.

What If A-Rod Threw a Party and Nobody Came?

I guess that's what happened after the All Star game in NYC. Not even Madonna showed. You can't really feel bad for the guy. He creates his own problems. Remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where Peter Brady saved some kid in a library from having a giant shelf of books fall on him, then threw himself a "hero" party, but no one showed up?

In unrelated news: I feel bad for one of my neighbors. Their child has a scream like a T-Rex. Hey, maybe it really is a T-Rex!

Leeny and Steve - Be Nice

So, I thought I would do some shameless promotion for two of my friends: Ilene Altman AKA Leeny and Steve Equi AKA Steve. They just put out a fabulous new CD of children's songs entitled, Be Nice.

The songs are super witty, smartly written tunes, sure to get your kids (or kids you might know) tapping their little toes. It's a nice alternative to the crap that's out there (speaking of, one of my favorite songs on the album is Stinky Diaper). Well, as I have no experience with the children's market, I can only assume the music is crappy. But I do know this: Leeny and Steve's CD is the bee's knees! The crown jewel of the children's music world!

Warning: Don't be surprised if your child or the child you know begins eating their fruits and vegetables after listening to this CD. You might find that said child begins to demand quiet time as a result of exposure to Be Nice. If you prefer loud, sugar-hyped kids, this CD is not for you.

IRON MAIDEN

We went to see Iron Maiden last night. Very enjoyable show - Dickinson still has it. Major pipes. The band was very tight. Their performance made up for the opening band, which was beyond horrible. You remember what Cassandra's band from Wayne's World sounded like? Same crap, but worse because it is obvious that they are serious about themselves.

It also rained and thundered for a good portion of the show, mostly at the beginning. We had lawn seats, so I am now convinced that we are all going to get some kind of fungus. The youngesters throwing themselves down the mudslide didn't seem to care. I was so mad at these little punks, I nearly made one of them eat my shoes.

My only disappointment was that Maiden didn't play Flight Of Icarus. I was so ready for it!

Wig Shopping

Though my mom's chemo is not technically supposed to cause her to loose her hair, it's thinning quite a bit (it was already very thin to begin with) and she's decided to have it cut really short and buy a wig. So ... that's what's on the agenda today. Somehow, I don't think it's going to be as fun as the old days of going to department stores and trying on the worst ones, then breaking out in huge fits of laughter. Who knows? Maybe she'll be in a goofy mood. She had a blood transfusion this week and she feels like a million bucks. Lots of energy, full appetite, more color in her face. She's like a new person.

I can't WAIT to start looking at houses this weekend. If I had loads of expendable cash, I would opt for a retro kitchen in black, red and white. Check out these amazing (and super expensive) appliances from Northstar in Candy Apple red:





I would also go with a 1950's table and chairs. Look at this gorgeous number:



I adore this button back chair in Tiffany blue, but they do make them in a "crushed ice" red:




And in sports:

The Celtics are going to have to win a road game, it seems. And how about the Red Sox? Two grand slams? The Royals are probably feeling pretty low right now. They really got knocked around.

True Gibberish

I am going to make a horrible mother someday because I will actually take my child out of a quiet public area if he or she is screaming their head off. Or I will at least apologize to those around me. Over the weekend, I went to the laundromat. There, a lovely woman and her 3 children were waiting for their clothes to dry. The eldest girl was nicely behaved. The middle child was borderline and the little boy was a maniac. Now, let me first say that I understand that being in a laundromat is not fun for a child. It's not fun for an adult, either. I remember going with my mother when I was about 5 or 6 when we were renting an apartment, and then again when I was about 10 or 11 when our washer and dryer crapped out. As a tot, I passed the time by studying the coffee vending machine and making spiders out of plastic cups by ripping the sides into strips. When I was 11, I just read Circus magazine and fantasized about having Def Leppard over our house for dinner. I was occupied and I stayed out of people's hair.

This little boy was obviously looking for something to do. Heck, it was a sunny day and here he was with his mom and sisters, stuck in a big building filled with smells of hot fabric and detergent. Can you blame the child for running around, jumping in front of people, screaming at the highest decibels known to man and slapping all the chairs in the laundromat many times over? And can you blame the child's poor mother for somehow drowning out the noise and acting completely unaffected by the display? If you answered no to both questions, then you certainly can't blame me for whipping out my iPod, adjusting the volume to "eleven" and filling my ears with Megadeath, Metallica, and The Cult while perusing my Real Simple magazine.

Society. Ugh.

The Celtics shined last night at the Garden. And Ray Allen actually made one of free throws! The clear plastic face masks that some players wear really freaks me out.

So, I am wondering - what's your ultimate symbol or icon from the 1970s? There are so many to choose from, I know. Banana seated bikes with metallic handle bars are my latest fave, along with Love's Baby Soft and "pull off" soda can tabs. I also liked Ginger's sparkly dress on Gilligan's Island. I always wanted an occasion to wear a dress like that.

In real estate news: We are pre-approved! It's official! I really can't wait to start looking at places on Sunday. This is so exciting!

Damn You, Egg-Shaped Bath Bomb!

Oh, I have been having a hell of a time trying to create egg-shaped bath bombs using traditional plastic shells. I've destroyed 3 batches so far. I am trying to get a cute little children's gift set together in time for Easter. I think I'm going to try a different method. Today is a new day, right? I was really depressed about this last night. Depressed enough to have some chocolaty frozen yogurt.

Check out this new movie coming out on March 7th! I got all teary-eyed just watching the trailer.

Cool New Shirt

More Than a Jelly

Weird. They just discovered this jellyfish in the Philippines. It looks like that Boston (self-titled) album cover, but with SpaghettiOs for tentacles.

Up 2

Could this be any more scripted?

I attended my very first Red Sox playoff game last night. It was, of course, brilliant in every imaginable way.

• The weather was spectacular.
  
• The seats were sweet.
  
• The Cleveland-Yankees game was shown on the Jumbotron, at least until the Red Sox-Angels game started. And during the 5th or 6th (I think), the Indians final run was shown.
  
• The Star Spangled Banner was the best I've seen performed at a baseball game, and I don't usually rave about such things.
  
• The Red Sox have shown that they are really clicking in the post season, despite a few Dice K jams. He pitched out of them, for the most part, though.
  
• Manny. Wow.
  
• I got to use the handicapped stall in the ladies room. It's cleaner, obviously more roomy, and it has a hook for your purse/backpack/whathaveyou. I never noticed this in other stalls, but I was never really paying attention, either.
  

The only downer was the woman planted in front of us. She was non-stop talkie-talkie with a friend of hers during a playoff game. Very annoying. She was the kind of woman for whom, after getting killed during your typical body count horror movie, everyone in the theater claps.

I'm really pulling for the Phillies, but they aren't making it easy for me.

We went to see Weird Al tonight in New Bedford. Great show, but it was a little odd to see him perform in the same theater I watched a bunch of local hair bands play in back in 1988. It was a benefit to "Save the Zeiterion," as the venue was in pretty rough shape back then. It seems that the landmark found a way to renovate itself in the last 20 years because it looked pretty good last night. Not mind blowing or anything, but nice. Weird Al and his band were really entertaining. It was a whole multimedia deal with a million costume changes and awesome lighting.

The Red Sox are currently 1.5 games up. I can't even talk about it.

Wednesday Stuff

There were 2 moments yesterday at which I forgot that it was September 11th. I feel pretty rotten about that. In one case, I was in the kitchen making pizza and I heard the word "firefighters" come from the television during last night's pre-game ceremony. I walked into the living room and asked if they were honoring the 2 firemen who died in a recent West Roxbury fire. Jere looked at me and said, "Uh, no. It's September 11th." Yikes. This would never have happened if they did what I said and made 9/11 a federal holiday. I'd be willing to swap out Columbus Day or President's Day for it. Wouldn't you?

Moving on.

Though Wake wasn't proverbially "on" last night, the Sox offense was able to take the Devil Rays all the way down town. I am glad that Drew made some decent contact (finally). The kids just keep on hitting. They are so much fun to watch. Coco's been pretty consistent since late July. Funny how no one sings that guy's praises, but they can't wait to complain about him when his game isn't so hot. I hate Boston fans, man.



On Sunday night, we checked out Pleaseeasaur and Neil Hamburger at the Middle East - Upstairs. I saw Hamburger at the same venue last year (probably right around this time, too). Check out Jere's review of the show. I would only add that I haven't seen anything as hysterical as Pleaseeasaur in a very long time. It's rare that I wind up crying from laughing so hard. They perform a song called "I Hate Dog Shit" that's seems like a public service announcement of some kind, but it just gets weirder and weirder as the song goes on. The lyrics are pretty funny, but it's the execution and brilliant performance by Pleaseeasaur that totally got me. The one liners, the mullet wig, the abominable snow man costume, the bad hair news anchor get up - all priceless. Do yourself a favor and check our their stuff.

So, get this. The woman who tried to create the Willy Wonka Smellovision experience is trying to get this out to a wider audience. Okay, as I said, this was a very gallant effort on her part and I totally respect her hard work and dedication to the cause, but I hope she changes up her strategy, because, as I pointed out after we attended one of her experimental presentations, all we ended up smelling was mustard and cigarettes. There was just no way the smells were going to reach people in an outdoor setting when there are mere dabs of stuff on poster board sheets being waved around. Don't be afraid of the smells, lady! Really douse those things before you wave them around. Unless she was going for mustard and cigarettes. In which case, I take it all back.

How about those Patriots, huh? I never thought that crew would sink to that level. I am not a huge fan of football (there's only room for 1 professional sport in my life, though I've been trying to squeeze basketball in these last few seasons), but I've lost a lot of respect for the Pats. You know that non-Patriot fans across the country are totally stoked.

In softball news, we play game 6 tonight in Newton. I think I am well enough to play. I am about to hydrate myself to the gills.

I'll bet those golden tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.

Jere and I went to see Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in SMELL-O-VISION last night. It was wonderful to see such a great flick outdoors on a summer night, but as for the smells ... not much for the ole snozzberry. Unless you want to count the guy smoking cigarettes behind us or the steady stream of mustard (which, I assume, came from a packet on the ground somewhere nearby). The folks who put this on get an A for effort. Unfortunately, I think that simple physics may have been to blame. It would have worked better in a contained space with the aromas shooting out of the ceiling or the walls. The ladies room in my company's building shoots air freshener out of the walls - I am sure that it can be done. Instead, there were people walking around with bright green wigs (oompa loompa style) waving big pieces of paper with dribbles of stuff on them at the audience.

Someone told me that when she went to a John Waters movie (I forget which one), they handed out little scratch and sniff cards. That's actually not a bad solution.

On the plus side, seeing the movie made me want to run out and buy candy straight away. So we did.

The Sox really made us sweat that one out. Against the Devil Rays, of all teams. The Devil Rays are like the the guys in Mr. Mom who try to keep Jack (the Red Sox) from winning Ron Richardson's (George Steinbrenner's) little obstacle course race. I'll bet that Papelbon's feeling good about himself this morning. Blowing Lester's win, and all. Anyone but Lester, right? The guy beats cancer, throws two awesome games and goofy ole Papelbon comes in and shits all over it. Way to go!

Kristin Hersh

Occasionally, I check in on bands/artists I enjoyed from back in the day to see (a) what they are up to and (b) if they are touring. I always have the WORST timing, to the point where I nearly cringe before the tour date page loads. Most times, I just missed them.

Well, I guess this makes up for it.

Hersh is playing 3 dates in Massachusetts in April. It's hard to imagine acoustic versions of Counting Backwards and Not Too Soon, not to mention Bright Yellow Gun. But, hey, I'm totally down for it. She'll probably perform some stuff from 50 Foot Wave, too.

If you are into Throwing Muses, or 50 Foot Wave, you ought to check out her site. She's writes a pretty good blog, too.

ASBCIH

I've decided that I'm going to use the term "a snow ball's chance in hell" as much as possible. It doesn't roll off the tongue as easily as you might think and it's got a ton of applications. I might even abbreviate it when using the phrase in writing.

Examples:
I think the Yankees have ASBCIH winning the division title this year.
I've got ASBCIH getting a parking spot on Newbury Street.
There's ASBCIH my cats will ever calm down and stoop breaking all the things I own.

Kick 'Em in the Grill, Sullee

I have become terribly engrossed in the VH1 series Ego Trip's (White) Rapper Show, hosted by former 3rd Bass hip hopper (turned radio show host) MC Serch and Price Paul. I am rooting for Sullee (the kid from Boston), but he is not making it easy for me. You see, in each episode they split the rappers up into 2 teams and present them with a challenge. The losing team is faced with the elimination challenge and Sullee always winds up on this team. He's a gifted rapper (meaning that his words have pretty deep meaning and his arrangements are decent), but he always draws a blank during his elimination challenge rap. In fairness, the losing team is given (what seems like) next to no time to write and memorize the rap. Anyway, it usually comes down to him and someone else and so far, he's been lucky. You can also tell that MC Serch KNOWS that Sullee is super talented. He's like the teacher who understands the potential and can't get over the "drawing of the blank." It's Baton Rouge, Cindy!

Persia, my other favorite contender, is fantastic. A woman, for starters. A natural, for whatever comes after starters. I am pretty sure that she's going to win the whole thing. She's confident and her performance appears smooth like butter. She's got a great singing voice, too. $hamrock is another favorite of mine. His face is super busted up and it looks as though he replaced his front teeth (presumably knocked out) with gold/silver ones. He is a vision.

When this "raps" up, I hope that VH1 does a (Black) Rocker Show, hosted by Vernon Reid. Imagine how cool!