Danzig

Alright, I know some people can't resist throwing pictures of their kids and/or pets on their blogs. I hope I don't come across as one of those enthusiasts when I present you with the following.



How is this comfortable?



Cat Porn

P.S.

I'm not giving any credence to the ridiculous notion that Schilling doctored up his sock with paint or whatever. It's pointless to even consider that it was anything but blood. This is why I have't posted about it.

Suck it, Yankees!

Is that bad baseball karma? You know what? I don't care. It's evened out by Jeter's ridiculous "I'm Safe" gesture during what, the 6th? Sorry, but that is the umpire's job. Not your's, buddy boy.

Red Sox - 1
Yankees - Zip

Still In First Place

So, Pena just cashed in one of his 3 homers of the season. I'm not complaining about the grand slam, but that dude rarely makes contact. You've gotta admit.

Hey, there's going to be a Cambodian rock opera performed in Lowell tonight. It's called Where Elephants Weep. Ninety percent of Cambodia's artists were killed during the killing fields genocide. Some of the people who were in labor camps have been involved in this musical project. Sounds pretty cool.

How long do you predict the Yankees will be in last place?

Green Stamps

For those who are old enough to remember, it might interest you to know that green stamps are not extinct. Oh, no. They've simply taken it to the world wide web.

Check it out.

It's Been a While

... since I've done a muppet look-a-like post ...



Baltimore Manager, Sam Perlozzo and



Sam the Eagle

By the way, Cora just homered in tonight's game against the O's. I heard the crowd going crazy and ran into the living room to see what had just happened, assuming one of the birds got a hit off of Schill. Nope. I mean, come on Baltimore fans! How about supporting your boys? Every time I go to Camden Yards for a Baltimore-Boston game, it's a sea of red. Taylor (that's an O's fan friend of mine, for those of you not in the know), what gives?

By the way, the Yanks are, in fact, in last place. And yes, I was, in fact, at the dong fest that was Sunday night's game.

I Walked Abreu on Purpose, Papelbon Admits

"Yes, I did it on purpose!" a seemingly drunk Jonathan Papelbon announced at PJ Kilroy's bar last night, a witness said. Papelbon, star pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, claims that he did, in fact, walk Bobby Abreu so that he could end Sunday night's historic game by forcing the red hot Alex Rodriguez into a ground out.

Before this public declaration, there had been lots of speculation buzzing around as to whether or not it was true. Many fans had proposed the theory, but it remained unconfirmed. During his drunken rant, Papelbon explained that catcher Jason Varitek suggested the walk to Abreu. The team captain used a very rare signal and the closer sent a firm nod in agreement. "We both wanted A-Rod to end the game. Don't you think I can fan Abreu? Bobby ain't got nothin' on the Wild Thing!"

Witnesses to the admission were stunned. One patron said, "After he came out with it, he began rambling on about his unmatched pitching skills. He actually called (Mariano) Rivera a chump and challenged him to a pitching duel! It was crazy, man!" Some fans used their cell phones to snap pictures of Papelbon posing by the bar's pool table, making his famously intense face, holding the cue like a baseball. The bar became filled beyond capacity with curious onlookers and the pitcher was kindly asked to leave, a source said.

Sox Going for Sweep

All is right in the Nation today. The Sox are going in for the sweep tonight as Dice K takes the mound against the Yankees for the very first time. Come on, run support! Actually, I think it's going to be like batting practice against this no name starter of theirs. Chase Wright? Whatever. I'll be there tonight with Jere, watching the game from the bleachiz.

Game 1 was a victory of the sweetest kind. The old, "so you think you've got it all wrapped up, eh?" A-Rod was totally relaxed and smiles abounded going into the bottom of the 8th. Then, WHAMO, the Sox offense slapped Rivera's shitting pitching all over the place. Incidentally, I don't see how a guy who knows only one pitch can go down as the greatest closer of all time. I think a guy has to have a few more tools in the toolbox in order to qualify for that.

And lastly:

You Are Getting Very Sweepy

That series was impressive.

Saturday was my first Fenway game of the year. Though it was really f'n cold, it wasn't as miserable as I thought it might be. Most likely because it was dry. Got to see Schilling's amazing outing.

I have a really good feeling about Lugo.

No Dice

I wonder if the blogging association gives out awards for most unoriginal headers.

Dice-K actually pitched well. He received no run support from his teammates, however. Why? Because Hernandez was show stoppingly good tonight. You got to give it up for the dude. And he's a mere 21 years young. *sigh* Drew broke his chances for a no hitter in the 8th.

Happy Birthday to the Captain, by the way. I still can't believe that I am older than Jason Varitek. Only by about 6 months, but still.

Here is a pic of Danzig, who watches television in this position every night. The arm of the sofa is like his Archie Bunker recliner. Completely off limits to me and Larry. Incidentally, another shower liner has bit the dust. Damn those cats!



Freaking Christian Slater is doing voiceovers for Panasonic now, too. In addition to Auto Trade. What's the deal?

Wowzers, All Around

That's what I call a home opener.

Would have been nice if I had been able to actually watch it. I saw exactly half of one inning. It was a good half, don't get me wrong, but it would have been sweet to take this one in.

Great job by Beckett, who has 2 wins under his belt. I think we are starting to see our potential problems already with regard to the pitching staff. This could actually be a crappo year for our resident knuckleball pitcher. Or maybe not. Always hard to predict what's going to happen there. Perhaps he will just have a gradual decline. I don't know. Tavarez has implode potential, but I really like the competitor in him. I enjoy his emphatic pointing to the infielders when a ball is put in play. I joked on Saturday that he might start emphatically pointing at himself if the ball is hit toward the mound. I do hope he can prove himself in this roll. Though he isn't the same kind of headcase as Carl Everett ("I love you dinosaur, but you do not exist!"), he's got some issues of the sucker-punching variety. I am really pulling for him this year.

Cool - I just got a ray of that "just about to set" sunshine in my apartment. It won't last more than a couple of minutes. I love it when happens. You know, when it's been overcast all damn day, then the sun pops out for a quick "hey."

Just Schillin'

I knew that Curt was going to be back to his normal work-horsey-style self last night. A man doesn't lose the season opener so shittily only to lose again. No, not Curt Schilling. I pretty much figured he could think of nothing but winning his second start of the year ever since the moment he was yanked during game one. Maybe he did it for Jesus, being that it was Easter and all. Who cares who he did it for? He helped us win the game, which is what we freaking needed.

Pap lived up to his expected Pappy goodness. Baseball Heavy commented on Jere's blog that he (Pap) looks an awful lot like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man when pitching. JS, if you are reading this, I must tell you that I agree wholeheartedly with your comparison. And quite frankly, I'm a little surprised that Jere didn't bring it up himself, being that he's such a huge Ghostbusters fan!

Speaking of Jere, he and I watched the Sox lose miserably on Saturday from The Riviera Cafe (Red Sox bar in NYC) before popping in to see a midnight showing of Taxi Driver. I can think of nothing else but the old Helmet/House of Pain song (Just Another Victim) when I hear the title of that film. It was my first time watching it (yes, it's true) and I am glad I saw it on the big screen. Scorsese (whose birthday is the day after mine and Lugo's, and the day OF my friend, Bill's) really captured the finest of details with his camera. The cracks in layers of paint on the walls of Dinero's apartment, the black dancing flecks of something in his alka seltzer. It was amazing. Also, I can't believe how badly Vince Gallo ripped off one of the scenes from this movie in Buffalo 66. But I still love Buffalo 66.

One of my workmates and I went halfsies on an office radio so that we don't miss any more of these nonsense afternoon games. I hope it's in tomorrow!

P.S. Imus is a complete a-hole. I can't believe he said what he said.

Sweet Win Today

First Annual

I've always hated listening to D & C in the morning. The fact that there is no alternative to this right-winged, bullshit, male dominated sports program really steams my clams. I've decided that this is the first year - no matter what - for which I WILL NOT listen to this show.

I'm not asking anyone to join me in this. I'm simply making my lack of appreciation for this show crystal clear.

Good win for the Sox last night. I could tell that things were going to go our way right after JD Who's first hit of the game. That and Beckett was pretty solid in his first inning. No implosions. Hey, I just thought of something. Did anyone ever use "Foulke Implosion" after one of Keith's blown saves? I think that this should be the standard term after any blown save. Starting now.

I'm kind of pissed that I won't really be able to see Dice K's first start today. Damn you, afternoon games!

Christian Slater is doing voiceovers for Auto Trade. What is this world coming to?

You Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em

Alright, what's the deal with these old fart types thinking they can still pull off the characters of yesteryear? Bruce Willis in another Die Hard? Ironic? Sylvester Stallone back in the ring? One word: GROSS. If sex appeal is what they are trying to achieve, I think that growing old with dignity is a lot, I don't know, sexier.

When age defiance gets out of control ...

Beast - i - e

So, I hear that the B Boys are releasin' a new one this summer. I, for one, am skeptical.

Let me start by saying that I've been a HUGE Beastie Boys fan for as long as I can remember. I've seen them twice (once at Lollapalooza, once during the Hello Nasty tour). I've grown older with them (though they will always be slightly older than me), I've experienced the evolution of their sound and appreciated all of it. Until. To. The. 5. Burroughs. "Crappy" is not a descriptive enough word. It was simple and repetitive and boring as all hell.

I love these guys dearly. I support their political causes (though I do question the appropriateness in which they've presented their ideas), I think they've got a fine sense of humor, and I especially like the fact that they've the defied the odds. No one thought that 3 silly white kids from New York would sustain themselves as rap artists for 20 years. I've got nothing but respect for them. Truly. But, I'm frightened to sample the new album. I probably won't.

Please B Boys, don't turn into the Red Hot Chili Peppers. For the love of all things that don't suck, take my advice!

We had a chance ...

... you know, there at the top of the 8th. David was up with 2 guys in scoring position. We could've come within striking distance. It would have been sweet, too, since Riske is the KC *ahem* closer. Now, we haven't got a chance. I just hope we don't widen the gapper by giving up any more runs.

And what was the deal with DeJesus trying to fake a diving catch? Is this back yard baseball?

Schilling just couldn't find his fastball. The game isn't over yet and I'll bet he's already huffed off to start blogging about it. It would be funny to see him with an Apple Notebook in the dugout, instead of the traditional pen and paper. Guaranteed he's super pissed, too, because he's never lost an opening day game.

Also, I didn't see it, but I heard that Pedroia pulled a wicked rookie move and tried to get 2 bases off of what was clearly a single. I thought the whole point of Spring Training was to get these goofy moves out of the way!

I guess the Red Sox have the night off tomorrow to think about how badly they sucked.

It's just as well. I've got laundry to do.

Sound Bites Cafe

Sometimes, when my boyfriend and I pass by Sound Bites on Broadway, we sing its name along to Def Leppard's "Love Bites." Don't you?

Anyway, just thought I'd let those of you who care - Sound Bites is expanding. El Guapo closed its doors, so SB is getting some elbow room. With any luck, this will put an end to those super long lines during brunchy times. But hopefully not to the complimentary coffee!

Last Night of Freedom

Tomorrow, the regular season begins for the Red Sox. And the end of my free time goes down the toilet. Ah, well. Maybe I can paint on nights when there are games (listen on radio) and I can write on nights off. 'Cause I've been so busy painting and writing lately, I just don't know what I'm going to do starting tomorrow (read with a great deal of sarcasm, obviously)! Wednesday, actually, since tomorrow's game starts at 4:10 and Tuesday there is no game.

And we're off!

And the Survey Says!

Saw this on Yahoo! today:


(Did he post this question himself? Is he thinking about starting a blog, too? Like Curt?)

Got to hand it to this guy: